MaryEllen Montville

“Before a young woman’s turn came to go in to King Xerxes, she had to complete twelve months of beauty treatments prescribed for the women, six months with oil of myrrh and six with perfumes and cosmetics.” –Esther 2:12

It was in this place where God hit the pause button on Esther’s life—not forever, but for a time. A pause is only for a set time. Never forget that, beloved, especially when it starts to feel like forever. God’s pause is that space between calling and its fulfillment. That time —however long, God uses to prepare us for His next…

Are you there?

Does it feel as if God has hit the pause button on that hope He placed in your heart? That vision of your “next,” He shared with you?

Are you looking around, wondering if God somehow forgot you?

When God hits pause on your life, it can feel isolating—you start questioning yourself: “Did I truly hear from God?”

If you don’t guard your heart in this place, silent as the grave, often. Still, like trees before a storm, heavy feeling, even, not light and freeing as you’d expect, Satan will have access to that open door he needs in convincing you that God has abandoned you; that the silence, this lack of movement, the stillness, it’s all proof that what you’re feeling is real: “God has no further use for me.”

You’re there, aren’t you?

In the pause? That Holy tension…

Holy Spirit will not let you escape it, no matter how hard you fight Him—not that you want to, fight Him, that is. You just want something to happen. Some sign from God that He hasn’t forgotten what He promised. Hasn’t forgotten you.

Because that’s what it feels like right now, and the weight of those feelings is making your knees buckle. Because sometimes believing for something so big is bigger than your “right now” faith. That’s when God, being Lovingkindness and infinite mercy Himself, creates a pause…

You’re no longer where you’ve been, looking around you, that much is obvious.

Still, you’re certainly nowhere near where God is taking you, the Holy Spirit keeps confirming that much…

You’re in that place where nothing but everything seems to be happening all at once. You just can’t seem to pull all the threads together just yet, so the picture of the completed tapestry is just there, out of view—still, something is happening.

God used a pause in Esther’s story to prepare her.

Again, Loving Father, He is, Jesus knows our frame; what and how much we can withstand before the weight of His intended blessing breaks us instead. “For He Himself knows our frame; He is mindful that we are but dust” –Psalm 103:14. So God lavishes His gifts of time and His personal attention upon us—ensuring every detail, each person required, friend or foe, every lesson and element needed to fully prepare us to thrive under the full weight of His blessing, is brought together at just the right time, in just the right place to be used with meticulous precision.

Still, how Jesus prepares each of His children for what He has for us varies according to His plan for our lives. “Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us, set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.” –2 Corinthians 1:21-22

Take Joseph, for instance; there were no spa treatments in Joseph’s story.

Instead, his time of preparation included a pit and prison, betrayal and lies.

Father Abrahams’s pause meant leaving home and family behind and heading off to somewhere known only to God, with no map in hand. His only directions were God’s go and His promise. “The Lord had said to Abram, ‘Go from your country, your people, and your father’s household to the land I will show you. “I will make you into a great nation, and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth. I will be blessed through you.” –Genesis 12:1-3

What about Noah? People thought he was a complete loon!

Building something no one had ever heard of to be prepared for something no one had ever seen. Rain? What’s that! And all because the unseen God he served, the God with the yet unknown name, said to. “And God said to Noah, ‘I have determined to make an end of all flesh, for the earth is filled with violence through them. Behold, I will destroy them with the earth. Make yourself an ark of gopher wood. And of every living thing of all flesh, you shall bring two of every sort into the ark to keep them alive with you. They shall be male and female. Noah did this; he did all that God commanded him.” –Genesis 6:13-14;19;22.

Then there’s the man Jesus chose to be His forerunner.

Who goes around munching on locusts and wild honey? Who does that! Yet John faithfully traversed the wilderness wearing clothes made of animal skins and, to anyone who would listen, screamed aloud about a Kingdom yet to come: they needed to repent and be baptized; the Messiah was coming—man judges by outward appearance, for God, it’s all about the heart. “In those days John the Baptist came, preaching in the wilderness of Judea and saying, ‘Repent, for the kingdom of heaven has come near.” This is he who was spoken of through the prophet Isaiah: “A voice of one calling in the wilderness, ‘Prepare the way for the Lord, make straight paths for him.'” John’s clothes were made of camel’s hair, and he had a leather belt around his waist. His food was locusts and wild honey. People went out to him from Jerusalem and all Judea and the whole region of the Jordan. Confessing their sins, they were baptized by him in the Jordan River.” –Matthew 3:1-5

My point: the list of those servants who have experienced God’s pause—His deafening silence and seemingly fluid relationship with time —can all be found between the covers of your Bible; your experience with God’s pause is not unique, beloved. From Genesis to Revelation, God’s pause button has been obvious—if we have eyes to see it. Actually, it’s in Genesis, if you read with the eyes of the Spirit, where you’ll find an instance, maybe a first, where God chose to hit His pause button. It’s where He sheds the blood of innocent animals to cover over Adam and Eve’s nakedness, their sin. “And the LORD God made clothing from animal skins for Adam and his wife.” –Genesis 3:21

“For the life of the flesh is in the blood, and I have given it for you on the altar to make atonement for your souls, for it is the blood that makes atonement by the life.” –Leviticus 17:11

It would take some 40 centuries, yes, centuries, before God took His finger off that particular pause button. Still, He had prepared the perfect time and place, had selected the absolute right, not perfect, people: friends, and foes, needed to introduce His Perfect Lamb to this world.

So you see, beloved, God has not forgotten you.

He’s just hit pause because to Him, our character matters more than our comfort—some of us get spa treatments, others, pits and prison. Why? God, our Loving Master Potter, is doing what He alone knows is best for each of us. He is preparing you —preparing us all —to be received; not by any earthly king but by our King, Jesus—and that kind of preparation takes time, His, not yours. “But who are you, a human being, to talk back to God? “Shall what is formed say to the one who formed it, ‘Why did you make me like this?'” Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for special purposes and some for common use?” –Romans 9:20-21

Do you know Jesus Friend? He not only knows you, but He loves you. What if the fact that you’re reading this today isn’t an accident? What if, instead, it’s God saying the pause is over? That today is the day Jesus has chosen for you to follow Him, to be His. “For he says, ‘In the time of my favor I heard you, and in the day of salvation I helped you.’ I tell you, now is the time of God’s favor, now is the day of salvation.” –2 Corinthians 6:2