Matthew Botelho

“You did not choose Me, but I chose you. I appointed you that you should go out and produce fruit and that your fruit should remain, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, He will give you. This is what I command you: Love one another.” – John 15:16-17.

I am so blessed to be back with you, my Sonsofthesea family! I truly have missed doing what our Lord has called me to do and connecting with all of you. God is very merciful and, like a good father, will chasten those He loves. We serve a God that will never leave you in a pit of doubt, loneliness, and depression. So, I need to be very transparent with you, brothers and sisters; I have been wrestling with the above in my heart these past few weeks away.

These very thorns in my flesh were slowly digging into my heart.

I felt that I was drowning in a sea of self-pity. Jealousy and strife were not only in my heart; they were taking root. These horrible works of the flesh were becoming manifest. Then, one day, as I was feeling sorry for myself, the Holy Spirit directed me to this Scripture, a checklist of my heart. The apostle Paul writes to the church in Galatia:

“Now the works of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, moral impurity, promiscuity, idolatry, sorcery, hatreds,  strife,  jealousy,  outbursts of anger, selfish ambitions, dissensions, factions, envy, drunkenness, carousing, and anything similar,  I tell you about these things in advance-as I told you before- that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.” –Galatians 6:19-21

My heart sank as I read this, and I felt sick to my stomach.

As a Christian, having just one of these sinful works of the flesh at work in you is terrible, but I could check off at least seven of these sins in my spirit. I fell on my face with tears, “Lord, how can I worship You when I am such a mess right now? How could You ever see anything in me? How am I worthy to be called you child?”

As I write this, the question returns: who is worthy?

What human is worthy to be in the presence of the Holy and Righteous Sovereign God?

After reading those verses in Galatians 6, I thank God that scales fell from my eyes, and I saw no way any Christian could, I could, boldly stand in God’s presence with all of that junk in our hearts. No man can receive the Kingdom of God in such sinful flesh. They must be born again. They need the Spirit of the living God. Jesus makes this clear in John 3:3, “I assure you; unless someone is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.”

My brothers and sisters, we all need Jesus!

Please hear me, friends: if you think the enemy won’t fire his fiery arrows at you or that the dark night of the soul that overtook me could never overtake you, then you are truly letting your guard down. I once said the very same thing: “My eyes are always on Jesus. That won’t happen to me.” I’d forgotten the Truth I so love. “Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.” –Proverbs 16:18.

Friends, as long as we live in these earthly vessels, we are prime targets for Satan’s attacks.

In 1 Peter 5:8-9, the apostle Peter warns us of this: “Be serious! Be alert! Your adversary The devil is prowling around like a roaring lion looking for anyone he can devour. Resist him and be firm in the faith knowing that the same sufferings are being experienced by your fellow believers throughout the world.”

Are we worthy to receive the forgiveness of God?

Humanly speaking, the answer is no if we look at it through the lens of the flesh or human ability.

We are not worthy to receive anything from a Holy and Pure God. Jesus alone is worthy! “The Lord is great and worthy of our praise; no one can understand how great he is.” –Psalm 145:3.

By nature, humans are selfish and self-centered.

We are always thinking about getting ahead or getting that next best thing, keeping up with the worldly standards of “success.” Such striving causes us to walk in fear and doubt, asking ourselves what the next day will bring before the day ever comes. Yet God still proves Himself to be a loving Father! “But God proves His love for using that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us!” –Romans 5:8.

God will never stop loving us, loving you, brothers and sisters. He cannot. God is Love. 1 John 4:16 reminds us of this. “We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them.” He wants a relationship even with His most stubborn creations, you and me. “Love consists in this: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.” –1 John 4:10.

In today’s verse, Jesus reminds us: “you did not choose Me, but I chose you.”

 Let that sink in for a moment. God chose you—in your imperfections, in your anxiety, in your mess.

But, Jesus also tells us to repent our sins and believe He is God’s Son.

We’re able to stand righteous before God only by Jesus’ finished work—His life, death, and resurrection.

It wasn’t Matthew Botelho who solved his mess. If anything, I was making things worse for myself and my family. Not to mention all those who stood beside me during this challenging time. Only the love of the Father set this servant free from all that bitterness and selfishness. And though I am not worthy of such forgiveness, Jesus said, “For God loved the world in this way; He gave His One and Only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life.” –John 3:16.

I am an “everyone” who believes. I have been set free by the One who sets His children “free indeed!”

Brothers and sisters, If you are going through a trying season, please know you are not going through it alone. We at Sonsofthesea are praying for all of you. We all walk through the desert at some time or another, that dry place where our enemy can take us out if we’re not careful. But with Jesus beside you every step of the way, you will leave your valley., just as I did.

And friend, if you are reading this and you feel the pull of the Holy Spirit moving you closer to God, follow His leading. Do not harden your heart, but allow the Presence of God to saturate every part of you. Repent and believe that Jesus washed away your sins with His precious Blood. Ask Him into heart and life as Lord of all. Amen. “As it is said, “Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion.” –Hebrews 3:15.