MaryEllen Montville




Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me” –Matthew 16:24.

Have you ever felt led to watch something on television? A movie or some television show perhaps? I have too. Last night I felt led to watch The Passion of the Christ. It was during those first opening moments of the movie when Jesus is in the Garden of Gethsemane with Peter, James, and John that Holy Spirit spoke to me and I began to understand why I was led to watch this particular movie. Knowing I would lead you here tonight, this is why I drew your attention to that Scripture earlier today. I wanted to open-up my Word before you. To show you: This is what it looks like to deny yourself. The standard I had in mind when I inspired Matthew to pen My Words.

Earlier this same day I had been reading Matthew 16. My eyes being repeatedly drawn back to those words “deny themselves.” He also drew my attention back to “take up their cross” too, but that is for another day. I knew Holy Spirit was enlivening His Word as only He can. He was calling us into a greater surrender of ourselves. A greater denial of our wills and wants—into surrendering ourselves to Jesus in these, our final hours. I knew the type of denial He was speaking of was far greater than just giving up coffee for a few days. Greater than sacrificing Netflix or television, sleep, or a meal. Those things a mere training ground for that deeper, more intimate denial.

In part, the Word makes clear we must be willing to give up even our best intentions. Bringing those acts born of love, even our deepest desire of wanting the absolute best for those we love—under the authority of our Father as painful as that may be. We are not God. We do not see all that He sees. Neither do we know a things intended end. And yet, it is so counter to our nature to not simply react without first taking a breath. Not automatically think and feel that we know best. Not defend, block, save from harm those we love. Or at least try to. Just ask Peter. What parent can’t relate to this feeling when left helplessly watching their beloved child headed for a stone wall at full throttle? Making a choice that runs contrary to every fiber of our being. However, this is the exact example of “denying ourselves” Jesus had just taught His beloved Peter, His Rock, a few verses before our own. Don’t take my word. Go and read Matthew 16:21-23 for yourself.

So then, using Jesus’ rebuke of Peter as our guide, we may feel confident in defining this “denying ourselves” to include in part, anything that not only hinders our walk with God, more, as any-thing that stands in the path of God’s perfect will being fully accomplished—period. Regardless of how we may feel about it. “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts”–Isaiah 55:8-9.

This “denying” Jesus is speaking of is so much bigger than just the temporary giving up of “stuff”—even that stuff we need to live. Jesus Himself confirms this Truth in Matthew 6:31-33. “Therefore, do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and our heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you” And yet, it was not until watching that particular scene unfold in the garden during the movie last night, the scene where Jesus pours Himself out to the point of sweating blood before the Father, that I more fully caught what Holy Spirit was pointing me towards earlier in the day…

If we genuinely want to be His disciple, we must be willing to wring-out at the Father’s feet that very last drop of self-left in us. Lovingly, wholeheartedly, willingly, by the power of His Holy Spirit—just as Jesus did.

Using Jesus as our standard then, and by the power of the Holy Spirit at work in us, we must be wholly committed to surrendering every crevice of our lives where self may seek to sneak away and hide. Carving out for itself some little corner in which it may well set up a throne on which to sit, seeking its own will. It is time to let it go. It is time to surrender those habits—those not-so-holy vestiges of ourselves. It is time to “put up or shut up”, as the saying goes. That shaking you have been sensing, that is an inner sifting taking place. A separating of wheat and chaff. Holy Spirit is letting you know you need to dig deeper, ridding yourself, once in for all, of what does not align with God’s will for your life. Complete surrender is the standard our hearts must be willing to reach for. Not perfection. Surrender. Withholding no-thing. This is the mark set before all who will seek to follow Jesus, the will of the Father…

Let me ask you, friend: “What is Satan trying to stop you from laying down? What is he attempting to keep you from fully surrendering to God?” Is it a spirit of religion? Is it drugs? A Savior complex? Are you full of pride? Control perhaps? Is it sex outside of marriage? A homosexual lifestyle maybe? Are you drinking too much? Maybe food has become your god of late? Whatever it is, I encourage you to follow Jesus’ example and pour it out in obedience at the Father’s feet now—don’t sleep on it. “For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it. What will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?” –Matthew 16: 25-26.

Friends, remember this as you lay in all down before the Lord, Love has won in every garden He has ever entered. Both in Eden and Gethsemane. Allow this to encourage you. Give you the strength you may be lacking in yourself.

If we were paying attention back in Eden, we would have caught our first glimpse of this moment, of this Living definition of denying oneself unfolding now, in Gethsemane. A foreshadowing of what must unfold, be sacrificed, that God’s plan for His children is fulfilled. Our first glimpse of this final sacrifice then, those bloody skins that were thrown over the naked frames of Adam and Eve back in Eden. “And Jehovah Elohim made Adam and his wife coats of skin, and clothed them” –Genesis 3:21. In each garden, Jesus went before us—our Guide, our Good Shepherd demonstrating just what it is this “denying ourselves” must look like. This all or nothing commitment, even unto death. And in each garden, Love won. Give it all to Him today friends. Jesus demonstrated for us that holding back any-thing, even unto the laying down of our very lives, is as withholding back every-thing.

There is no such thing as halfway in…

I encourage you today brothers and sisters; if you are struggling under the weight of denying your flesh, get up! Try again! Cry out to God again and again and again if need be. He is faithful to respond to the cries of His children. The Israelites will testify to this Truth! Do not allow Satan to use that one thing God is asking you to entrust into His care to stop you from fully surrendering all-of-you to God. Even your love for another. Even your “best” thing. “But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed” -2 Corinthians 4:7-9.

And know, new friend, that your being here today is not by accident. God has led you here. He is asking you to deny yourself—those feelings, struggles, and situations that have been ruling over you—and follow Him, instead. Won’t you say yes to Him? If you have never asked this Jesus to be Lord of your life, ask Him now. He wants to help you to surrender into His care every-thing that stands in the way of the two of you being as close as He desires to be with you.