"Come follow me and I will make you fishers of men." Matthew 4:19

Tag: religion

Once It Becomes Personal.

MaryEllen Montville

“In the past I heard about you, but now I have seen you with my own eyes. And I am ashamed of myself. I am so sorry. As I sit in the dust and ashes, I promise to change my heart and my life.” –Job 42:5-6.

Perhaps Job’s faith in God had been handed down to him from his parents? Maybe it came to him through his listening to the oral retellings of old? Accounts of God’s goodness and mercy, of His great love for His children.

Whatever the channel used, Scripture clarifies that Job recognized there was a God. Job never denied He existed. We realize this in Job’s response to his wife when she flat out tells him to give up on this God who had just allowed one calamity after another to befall them: “His wife said to him, “Are you still maintaining your integrity? Curse God and die!” He replied, “You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?” In all this, Job did not sin in what he said. –Job 2:9-10.

Job surely had some level of faith. Some belief in the God of the old retellings, the God who went to great lengths to redeem, provide for, and protect His people. “I’ve also done it so you can tell your children and grandchildren about how I made a mockery of the Egyptians and about the signs I displayed among them—and so you will know that I am the LORD” –Exodus 10:2. Maybe Job had lived his life essentially mimicking, perhaps wholeheartedly, what he had observed his parents and family, neighbors and friends—those in his tribe doing or saying—wanting it to be true for himself, wanting to believe it all. Indeed believing, on some level, that this God is real. Remember though, that up until this point in Job’s story, he’d not encountered God personally yet. Job had only known Him as the God of someone else’s relationship. But until Job knows God personally—until anyone does, God remains impersonal, and their lives untouched by the enlivening, relational presence of His Holy Spirit at work

This is the case for so many of us before our relationship with God became personal, Jesus was just a person someone else has experienced. A head knowledge that had yet to touch our heart. A good man hanging on a cross, perhaps? A god among many other gods, maybe? Our mother or father or grandmother’s God? Or the symbol of some unreachable deity whose rules demand more than anyone can give? So then why even try to know Him for ourselves?

I know this is how it was for me.

Raised Catholic, I attended Catholic school in the 60’s—went to Mass daily with those in my class. I learned about Jesus certainly—knew He had a Father, God. I had heard of the Holy Spirit but quite literally never knew Him as anything other than the picture of the Dove I’d seen painted on the Cathederal ceiling, in paintings, or heard referenced in the priest’s homily. I had no clue He was an actual person—the Third Person of the Godhead. Like Job and so many others today, I had undoubtedly heard about God—had some cursory head knowledge of Him, but I did not know Jesus—personally, that is. I had never encountered God face-to-face, so to speak.

But one day, in the blink of an eye, right there in the Catholic Church, all of that changed!

No longer was God someone that lived outside of me in paintings, nor was He a man who hung on a cross over my bed; Jesus Christ was now alive in me—His Spirit at work in me. One minute I was dead in my sin, the next, alive in Christ—just like Job. “But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved” –Ephesians 2:4-5. And, as with Job, I too felt the weight of my many past sins. How I, too, had questioned God at every turn. Yet, by God’s grace and mercy, the weight of my sins drove me to God, towards true repentance. And in that scared moment of His visitation—I unknowingly followed Job’s example and, as the song says, was gracefully broken.

I’ve since learned this one thing over these many years of walking with the Lord:

God does not break us to harm us; instead, He breaks us that He might re-fashion us, working out of us—pruning away those unfruitful habits—those sins that repeatedly trip us up and stunt our growth, muddying His plan for our lives. Sins like pride, fornication, adultery, addictions, stealing, stubbornness, rebellion, and lying, just to name a few.

I know this first-hand because not only does God’s Word make this plain, but, by God’s grace, Jesus enabled me to turn away from the sins that had had a death-grip on me for so much of my life. By His grace alone, I was able to leave them behind me, running after God with all I had in me instead. And I’m still running towards Him today, now, more than ever! Yet, I have miles and miles to go in my learning more and more about this God I love. This man that came and changed everything—in an instant, and counting. See, that’s what happens when He comes; He makes all things new—not usually overnight—but most certainly over time. And, after having met the Living God personally, after having experienced His Love, mercy, and grace, I began to understand the breadth of His forgiveness. In my finite, weak-as-water way, I caught some dim glimpse of what it cost Him to save me, and that revelation drove me so far into God that now, all I want in this life, for the rest of my life, is more of Jesus. Catching a genuine glimpse of your sins against the unblemished backdrop of God’s Purity and Holiness will cause you to cry out in repentance, in humility.

We witness this piercing truth in today’s Scripture verse. Undeniably, this was the case with Job, listen: “In the past I heard about you, but now I have seen you with my own eyes. And I am ashamed of myself. I am so sorry. As I sit in the dust and ashes, I promise to change my heart and my life.” –Job 42:5-6. The Prophet Isaiah also understood this Truth, listen: “I was frightened and said, “Oh, no! I will be destroyed. I am not pure enough to speak to God, and I live among people who are not pure enough to speak to him. But I have seen the King, the Lord All-Powerful” –Isaiah 6:5. The Apostle Peter understood it as well—me too. Each of us touched by God, transformed in an instant by the power of His Holy Spirit coming and taking up residence within us, making all things new, understood, more believed, that we were sinners who’d been brought into contact with a Holy God. “When Simon Peter realized what had happened, he fell to his knees before Jesus and said, “Oh, Lord, please leave me—I’m such a sinful man” –Luke 5:8.

The Pure Light of God’s presence unmasks every lie we’ve ever told ourselves about who we are—and who He is, exposing then the naked Truth, we are sinners in need of a Savior.

When we come face-to-face with the Living God, we face the depths of our depravity and our propensity for sin and sinning also. We become a witness to our self-justification, denial, pride, and those inflated opinions we hold of ourselves.And in this sacred moment, we must choose: to repent of these and accept Jesus into our hearts and lives, or to shut Him out—keeping Him then out there somewhere as the God of someone else’s relationship. And it is smack-dab in the instant of just such an awakening that we witness Job acknowledging God as His Lord and Savior in today’s Scripture verse.

My prayer in this season of hope and miracles is this: If you know of God, yet have not encountered Him personally, then right now, in these days leading up to Easter, to His death and Resurrection, His ultimate display of love—you’ll follow Job’s lead and say yes to having a relationship with Him, Move Him from being the God of someone else’s relationship, to being the God of your own.

The Heart Of Judas.

Stephanie Montilla

“…Jesus was troubled in spirit and testified, ‘Very truly I tell you, one of you is going to betray me” –John 13:21.

Within the human heart lives a propensity to sin, our fleshly nature at work in us, as it was in Judas. And apart from God’s saving grace—His Holy Spirit alive in us, preserving us from the bent of our fleshly nature, again, like Judas, we are powerless to overcome it. “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it” –Romans 7:15-20.

The Gospels inform us of Jesus calling each of His disciples. To some extent, they give us a snapshot of the apostles’ lives. Of whom they were before they began to follow Jesus. It also provides us with a glimpse of the settings in which he called them to follow him—except that is, for Judas Iscariot. Exactly how and why Judas was called to follow Jesus is not fully known. Some scholarly texts suggest Judas had been one of John the Baptist’s disciples. That he came to resent Jesus for not saving John from Herod’s executioner, and that this resentment took root in his heart and was a contributing factor in his subsequent betrayal of Jesus. However, we learn from Scripture that Jesus chose Judas to become His disciple—part of His inner circle. “When daylight came, He called His disciples to Him and chose twelve of them, whom He also designated as apostles: And Judas son of James; and Judas Iscariot, who became the betrayer” –Luke 6:13;16.

Judas is ignominiously known as being a traitor. For having betrayed Jesus for 30 pieces of silver—ultimately leading to Jesus’ arrest and His death on the cross. The Gospel tells it this way: “Then one of the Twelve – the one called Judas Iscariot – went to the chief priests and asked, ‘What are you willing to give me if I deliver him over to you?” So they counted out for him thirty pieces of silver. From then on Judas watched for an opportunity to hand him over” –Matthew 26: 14-16. It continues by saying, “When Judas, who had betrayed him, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was seized with remorse and returned the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders” –Matthew 27:3. And Scripture also informs us that Judas, realizing what he had done, was filled with remorse and committed suicide: “And he went away and hanged himself” (Matthew 27:5.

That led me to think about the condition of Judas’ heart? —and what of our own? After all, the Son of God had handpicked Judas to follow him. So, are we prone to fall away also? Betray the very God who called us?

Judas had witnessed the miracles Jesus had performed; he’d been in the boat when Jesus calmed the storm—Matthew 8:23-27. Judas was there when Jesus performed His first miracle, converting water into wine at the wedding in Cana —John 2:1-11. He’d witnessed Jesus feed the 5000 with five loaves and two fish—Matthew 14:15-21. And Judas was a witness to the miracles God performed. He’d also heard Jesus deliver the Sermon on the Mount –Matthew 5:1-48. He’d listened to Jesus’ parables and was present to hear Peter answer the question Jesus posed to each of His disciples—the very same question each one of us must answer for ourselves:” Who do you say that I am? Peter responded by saying, “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God”— Matthew 16:16. And, finally, Jesus had also given Judas power and authority to perform miracles: “Jesus called his twelve disciples to him and gave them authority to drive out impure spirits and to heal every disease and sickness” –Matthew 10:1. Judas had been given the privilege and honor of walking beside Jesus daily, knowing the Son of God personally. Yet, still, the devil-possessed Judas, causing him to betray Jesus. “After [Judas had taken] the piece of bread, Satan entered him. Then Jesus said to him, “What you are going to do, do quickly [without delay]” –John 13:27. How could this happen then? Hadn’t Jesus chosen Judas?

Again, all of this led me to contemplate the condition of Judas’ nefarious heart, asking myself then: Is there a little Judas in all of us?

Many of us profess to walk closely with Christ—just as Judas did. We share our witness—talking freely about what God has done in and through our lives—of the grace He’s poured into them. We talk about the miracles, signs, or wonders we’ve heard of or witnessed firsthand. Yet none of that exempts us from walking away from Jesus—from betraying Him, just like Judas did.

Seemingly, only Jesus was aware of Judas’ impending betrayal that fateful night—everyone else at the table appeared unsuspecting. “When evening came, Jesus was reclining at the table with the Twelve. And while they were eating, he said, ‘Truly I tell you, one of you will betray me. They were very sad and began to say to him one after the other, ‘Surely you don’t mean me, Lord?'” –Matthew 26:20-22. Not a single person, besides Jesus, pointed to Judas as being the traitor. And yet, long before this fateful night, there were signs of fissures in Judas’ heart—signs of his double-mindedness. John’s Gospel says this concerning this very issue: “Six days before the Passover, Jesus came to Bethany, where Lazarus lived, whom Jesus had raised from the dead. Here a dinner was given in Jesus’ honor. Martha served, while Lazarus was among those reclining at the table with him. Then Mary took about a pint of pure nard, an expensive perfume; she poured it on Jesus’ feet and wiped his feet with her hair. And the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume. But one of his disciples, Judas Iscariot, who was later to betray him, objected, “Why wasn’t this perfume sold and the money given to the poor? It was worth a year’s wages.” He did not say this because he cared about the poor but because he was a thief; as keeper of the money bag, he used to help himself to what was put into it” –John 12: 1-6.

Judas treasured money more than Jesus, and what he stole, he stole from God—not man. He knew that Jesus taught, “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” –Mathew 6:21. Yet, the pull to possess the things of this world, his sinful desire for money, and perhaps, past resentment became an overarching factor that contributed to Judas’ betraying Jesus. Knowing this then, it is essential for those who profess Jesus to check their hearts continually—asking God to examine them because simply acknowledging Jesus doesn’t equate to His truly being the Lord of your life.

To that end, you may find asking yourself the following questions helpful:

“What’ treasure(s)’ of this world have you allowed to dethrone the Son of God from your heart?”

“What daily habits are you entertaining that serve the lust of the flesh rather than foster a desire for the things of God’s and His kingdom?”

“And What are the “temporary pleasures of this world” that pull you away from God? Those things that trouble and grieve God’s heart?”

“Is it money? Is it lust? Is it a drug? Popularity? Possessions? Is it greed?”

If you profess to be a child of God, your heart’s greatest desire must be firmly rooted in pleasing and seeking after God and His Kingdom—and not being consumed by the “temporary gains” in this world.

After reading about some of the sin issues found in Judas’ heart, his greed, and double-mindedness, the possible root of bitterness that had taken root. His attachment to the things of this world. His being a liar and thief and his ability to betray Jesus, shouldn’t that awaken the resounding question in our hearts to be: “What can I learn from this?”

I know for me, I learned proximity to God is not an indicator that we abide in Christ, that our proximity to God does not exempt us from the enemy’s influences. I learned that those who refuse to fully yield their lives to Jesus Christ (their will, all that they are and have been given) could, sadly, be enticed away from serving Him, serving the lusts of their flesh instead. Judas walked with Jesus, was fed, and taught by Jesus, was prayed over by Jesus, healed individuals by the authority given him in Jesus, was a friend to Jesus. Judas spoke and acted like a disciple. Yet, his heart was far away from God. Judas knew all about religion, not about a relationship. “Many will say to Me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name drive out demons and perform many miracles? ‘Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you workers of lawlessness!’–Matthew 7:22-23. And this same religious spirit we witness in Judas is still alive today in those who, like him, are merely going through the motions in their walk with Jesus Christ. Those who perhaps attend church faithfully, follow all the rules, and offer their tithes—yet they lack a personal connection or genuine commitment to Jesus.

Judas was “in,” and yet he was still able to betray Jesus. Judas was “in,” yet the devil possessed him. The more religious we are, the more like Judas our hearts may become.

 And again, that forced me to look at myself and ask: “If Jesus wasn’t in my life, who might I be now?

I pray this same question drives you never to forget that forsaking God for the “temporary pleasures” of this world will always leave you feeling morally bankrupt.

That it reminds you that for all of Judas may have gained in this world, it never quenched his overwhelming feeling of remorse—that guilt and shame that drove him to hang himself. Neither will the things of this world ever assuage our guilt and shame. The enemy of our soul will make sure of that—just as he did with Judas. Satan always exacts a price far dearer than anyone thought they’d have to pay for the temporary pleasures he offers them. Ultimately, though, Scripture was fulfilled—and whatever the enemy had intended for evil, the Lord turned it around for His good purpose.

Judas’ desire was not for God, to advance His Kingdom – I pray that it is for you. I pray that the kingdom of God is your ultimate treasure and not the things of this world. I sincerely pray that you invite the Spirit of God to search your heart daily—revealing any wrong way within you. I pray that your profession that Jesus is Lord of your life matches your walk. I pray that if you’ve yet to ask God into your heart as Lord, you’ll do it today. I pray that you serve God as your Master. May the motives of your heart continuously be to glorify God. I pray that you’re a Peter, and not a Judas—because Peter died for the One he loved, while Judas followed Jesus yet, in the end, chose Satan over our Savior! “No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money” (Matthew 6: 24).

“For Your Eyes Only” Luke 24

people-1099782_960_720 It had been revealed to Peter—Christ’ identity that is.

They answered and said, “John the Baptist, and others say Elijah; but others, that one of the prophets of old has risen again. “And He said to them, “But who do you say that I am?” And Peter answered and said, “The Christ of God.” (Lk.9:19-20; emphasis added).

So let’s talk about knowing...that which is meant for your eyes only. Because, heartbreakingly, not everyone chooses to see. “He has blinded their eyes and hardened their hearts, so they can neither see with their eyes, nor understand with their hearts, nor turn–and I would heal them” (Jn.12:40).
However God in His sapience, chose to open Peter’s eyes to who Jesus truly was. And so it comes as little surprise, that of those disciples gathered together when the women returned from finding an empty tomb early that morning, that it would once again be Peter who was among the first to—see.

But Peter got up and ran to the tomb; stooping and looking in, he saw the linen wrappings only; and he went away to his home, marveling at what had happened” (Lk 24:11-12NASB; emphasis added).

Some versions read that, he went off wondering in himself,others, amazed at what happened…and others still, wondering in himself at that which had come to pass.

But in researching our text I was struck by the phraseology used in the Aramaic Bible in Plain English…listen—Shimeon(Simon) arose and he ran to the tomb, and beholding, he saw the linen that was placed by itself and he left wondering in his soul over what had happened” (Lk. 24:12).

As rich as Luke 24 is—containing a plethora of revelatory Scriptural lessons, it is not toward its many richly mined examples of theological thought that we will heading today. Rather, we will tread a fresher ground, and camp out at the entrance of the proverbial heart.

Peter’s heart that is…And that of those two unnamed disciples as well, you now, the guys heading to Emmaus.

For a moment, let’s center on Peter’s response to the news that the women who walked with Jesus have just conveyed to the disciples. Deeper, let’s ask ourselves what happened in Peters belly, in his knower, that made him get up and run to the tomb.

What separated him from the other eleven that sat self-righteously ridiculing these faithful women? And our two unknown’s, what caused them to make a beeline back to Jerusalem after having met a man? Lastly, how does this apply to you and I?

Gnosis, knowing—like a man knows his wife. Intimately, wholly, as we are known by Christ. Not as a plain intellectual exercise, as with—after reading the autobiography of George Washington I can honestly say I feel like I know him now. Intellect is a sure part of gnosis—in fact, it’s one of three of its informing components actually. As God is Triune, being created in His image so too are we comprised—mind, soul, and Spirit.

And as with Peter, our capacity to know and love God is possible only because He first loved and knew us.

So why Peter? Why not any of the others, after all, the eleven were ever present? And they too loved and served Jesus? Just look in the boat, they’re all there—yet only Peter risked getting out of the boat to respond to Jesus’ bidding to come walk on water with his Lord.  And now, running out of this room, though John followed—it is Peter we see jumping up and running off to check the tomb. And just a few chapters back, again, it was Peter that spoke the words that came from God Himself, “But who do you say I am?” He asked. Peter replied, “The Christ of God” (Luke 9:20).

Peter, atop of Mount Herman, He stood among the elect of the elect. He heard the voice of Father God bear witness to His love of, and pleasure in, His Son Jesus. The revelation of Christ’s glory in this chapter was a clear confirmation to the disciples of the truth of Peter’s confession of faith (16:16). It was also encouragement for Jesus; opposition had started to mount and would greatly increase.

It was Peter, pulling a coin out of the mouth of a fish to pay their taxes, his and Jesus’, Peter watching his Master not once, but twice, break bread, and in so doing multiply it to feed thousands. Peter, who in a moment of supreme weakness, only moments after having cut off a man’s ear in a fierce rage, denied Christ, thrice…

Why was it he jumped up first and ran?

Did his running really have anything to do with him or was he compelled? Both. Yes, he certainly had free will as we each do. And yes, he exercised it in that moment. But Just as the Scripture implies, Peter knew something…some past spark of a conversation fanned into full on flame…

Remember, we are searching today, weeding through the obvious, plucking up the ordinary, clearing away the similar, looking  for the deeper things.

From their early beginnings with Jesus, each man was individually invited to follow Him. Specifically chosen, hand selected, for some innate quality that lay dormant within, almost certainly it was wholly unknown to each them.

But God knew…

And He sent Jesus to draw them into fellowship with Himself. And over time, and with great compassion and unplumbed love, Jesus drew their dormant gifting’s into active use. Kingdom use, eternal use…

Jesus foresaw that in order for each of them to fulfill their divine destinies, death would have to occur. Remember He tasted of the Glory that was yet to come, it’s surety, on the Mount of Transfiguration. And so He knew (gnosis) that asking them to die was inviting them not only into life, but guaranteeing them that within that life their gifting’s would be complete. Not greater, in the sense of better than Jesus’, but rather in their ability in sheer numbers to fulfill the Great Commission…, listen… “Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever believes in me will also do the works that I do; and greater works than these will he do, because I am going to the Father” (Jn.14:12).

It is here where we share in Peter’s experience, as in John’s, Mark’s, and Thomas’s.

Death must come so that life can begin—if you are called to serve God, as each of these men clearly were—remember, their handpicked, then death is imminent.

Going out fishing can be fun, but its fun benefits only the fisherman. Catching fish on the other hand, benefits everyone who is able to eat from the catch. But first, obviously, death must occur before substantive life can be offered to anyone. As the fish surrenders it life to feed, so we too must surrender ours to do the same. And so we die daily to self, will, pride, desires…the right to life itself.

So why Peter?

He was chosen specifically for what the Lord knew of Him. And so it followed with the eleven, and, as with dominoes, to us as well. To do the great works that brought Jesus to the Cross, the Restorative, Redemptive work of salvation demands a knowing of sacrificial love…

Death must occur. Proof you ask? Had there been no crucifixion, there’d  be no need for a resurrection.

Why Peter…because He knew this. And some two-thousand years later, through his lifework and in his death, He is still preaching The Great Commission, still fulfilling His calling to feed God’s people.

Man’s fallen mortal condition could never have allowed for this…Only death to self and Life in Christ allows for the inclusion into that kind of transformative power.

Why Peter, because He knew outside of Christ, He was nothing…and from that knowing willingly, lovingly, deliberately paid the price required to have Jesus…His life.

Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love Me more than these?” He said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.” He said to him, “Tend My lambs.” He said to him again a second time, “Simon, son of John, do you love Me?” He said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.” He said to him, “Shepherd My sheep.” He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love Me?” Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, “Do you love Me?” And he said to Him, “Lord, You know all things; You know that I love You.” Jesus said to him, “Tend My sheep.…

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