“In the past I heard about you, but now I have seen you with my own eyes. And I am ashamed of myself. I am so sorry. As I sit in the dust and ashes, I promise to change my heart and my life.” –Job 42:5-6.
Perhaps Job’s faith in God had been handed down to him from his parents? Maybe it came to him through his listening to the oral retellings of old? Accounts of God’s goodness and mercy, of His great love for His children.
Whatever the channel used, Scripture clarifies that Job recognized there was a God. Job never denied He existed. We realize this in Job’s response to his wife when she flat out tells him to give up on this God who had just allowed one calamity after another to befall them: “His wife said to him, “Are you still maintaining your integrity? Curse God and die!” He replied, “You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?” In all this, Job did not sin in what he said. –Job 2:9-10.
Job surely had some level of faith. Some belief in the God of the old retellings, the God who went to great lengths to redeem, provide for, and protect His people. “I’ve also done it so you can tell your children and grandchildren about how I made a mockery of the Egyptians and about the signs I displayed among them—and so you will know that I am the LORD” –Exodus 10:2. Maybe Job had lived his life essentially mimicking, perhaps wholeheartedly, what he had observed his parents and family, neighbors and friends—those in his tribe doing or saying—wanting it to be true for himself, wanting to believe it all. Indeed believing, on some level, that this God is real. Remember though, that up until this point in Job’s story, he’d not encountered God personally yet. Job had only known Him as the God of someone else’s relationship. But until Job knows God personally—until anyone does, God remains impersonal, and their lives untouched by the enlivening, relational presence of His Holy Spirit at work
This is the case for so many of us before our relationship with God became personal, Jesus was just a person someone else has experienced. A head knowledge that had yet to touch our heart. A good man hanging on a cross, perhaps? A god among many other gods, maybe? Our mother or father or grandmother’s God? Or the symbol of some unreachable deity whose rules demand more than anyone can give? So then why even try to know Him for ourselves?
I know this is how it was for me.
Raised Catholic, I attended Catholic school in the 60’s—went to Mass daily with those in my class. I learned about Jesus certainly—knew He had a Father, God. I had heard of the Holy Spirit but quite literally never knew Him as anything other than the picture of the Dove I’d seen painted on the Cathederal ceiling, in paintings, or heard referenced in the priest’s homily. I had no clue He was an actual person—the Third Person of the Godhead. Like Job and so many others today, I had undoubtedly heard about God—had some cursory head knowledge of Him, but I did not know Jesus—personally, that is. I had never encountered God face-to-face, so to speak.
But one day, in the blink of an eye, right there in the Catholic Church, all of that changed!
No longer was God someone that lived outside of me in paintings, nor was He a man who hung on a cross over my bed; Jesus Christ was now alive in me—His Spirit at work in me. One minute I was dead in my sin, the next, alive in Christ—just like Job. “But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved” –Ephesians 2:4-5. And, as with Job, I too felt the weight of my many past sins. How I, too, had questioned God at every turn. Yet, by God’s grace and mercy, the weight of my sins drove me to God, towards true repentance. And in that scared moment of His visitation—I unknowingly followed Job’s example and, as the song says, was gracefully broken.
I’ve since learned this one thing over these many years of walking with the Lord:
God does not break us to harm us; instead, He breaks us that He might re-fashion us, working out of us—pruning away those unfruitful habits—those sins that repeatedly trip us up and stunt our growth, muddying His plan for our lives. Sins like pride, fornication, adultery, addictions, stealing, stubbornness, rebellion, and lying, just to name a few.
I know this first-hand because not only does God’s Word make this plain, but, by God’s grace, Jesus enabled me to turn away from the sins that had had a death-grip on me for so much of my life. By His grace alone, I was able to leave them behind me, running after God with all I had in me instead. And I’m still running towards Him today, now, more than ever! Yet, I have miles and miles to go in my learning more and more about this God I love. This man that came and changed everything—in an instant, and counting. See, that’s what happens when He comes; He makes all things new—not usually overnight—but most certainly over time. And, after having met the Living God personally, after having experienced His Love, mercy, and grace, I began to understand the breadth of His forgiveness. In my finite, weak-as-water way, I caught some dim glimpse of what it cost Him to save me, and that revelation drove me so far into God that now, all I want in this life, for the rest of my life, is more of Jesus. Catching a genuine glimpse of your sins against the unblemished backdrop of God’s Purity and Holiness will cause you to cry out in repentance, in humility.
We witness this piercing truth in today’s Scripture verse. Undeniably, this was the case with Job, listen: “In the past I heard about you, but now I have seen you with my own eyes. And I am ashamed of myself. I am so sorry. As I sit in the dust and ashes, I promise to change my heart and my life.” –Job 42:5-6. The Prophet Isaiah also understood this Truth, listen: “I was frightened and said, “Oh, no! I will be destroyed. I am not pure enough to speak to God, and I live among people who are not pure enough to speak to him. But I have seen the King, the Lord All-Powerful” –Isaiah 6:5. The Apostle Peter understood it as well—me too. Each of us touched by God, transformed in an instant by the power of His Holy Spirit coming and taking up residence within us, making all things new, understood, more believed, that we were sinners who’d been brought into contact with a Holy God. “When Simon Peter realized what had happened, he fell to his knees before Jesus and said, “Oh, Lord, please leave me—I’m such a sinful man” –Luke 5:8.
The Pure Light of God’s presence unmasks every lie we’ve ever told ourselves about who we are—and who He is, exposing then the naked Truth, we are sinners in need of a Savior.
When we come face-to-face with the Living God, we face the depths of our depravity and our propensity for sin and sinning also. We become a witness to our self-justification, denial, pride, and those inflated opinions we hold of ourselves.And in this sacred moment, we must choose: to repent of these and accept Jesus into our hearts and lives, or to shut Him out—keeping Him then out there somewhere as the God of someone else’s relationship. And it is smack-dab in the instant of just such an awakening that we witness Job acknowledging God as His Lord and Savior in today’s Scripture verse.
My prayer in this season of hope and miracles is this: If you know of God, yet have not encountered Him personally, then right now, in these days leading up to Easter, to His death and Resurrection, His ultimate display of love—you’ll follow Job’s lead and say yes to having a relationship with Him, Move Him from being the God of someone else’s relationship, to being the God of your own.
No one starts at the finish line. None of us start-off in perfect shape. Look at the Olympic athletes that ran, tumbled, and, flew across our television screens this past week. No medals, no wreaths—symbols of that sure victory—hung from around their necks before they competed—before they entered the race.
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