"Come follow me and I will make you fishers of men." Matthew 4:19

Tag: Correction

But I Thought…

MaryEllen Montville

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts” –Isaiah 55:8-9.

We need God’s grace to surrender our wants, our ought to be’s, and should, into His Sovereign hands. God’s grace enables us to stop playing god and start trusting Him instead, putting legs beneath our professions. Without God’s grace, we are power-less. A dead branch disconnected from the Vine. “For it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure” –Philippians 2:13.

We are called, instructed, commanded to surrender our fragile, ever-changing thoughts to God—all of us, in exchange for making room for, more of Him. “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things” –Philippians 4:8.

To “put on” the mind of Christ—is a choice we must make—daily. Over and over and over again. Sunup to sundown. A laying down that we might take up. Intentionally tearing down, destroying, every idol self has dared set up in opposition to God. “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ” –2Corinthians 10:5.

Yielding to God then, our desired outcomes and how we thought our lives were supposed to look and progress. Whether in our marriages, parenting choices, ministry, Christian walk, prayer life, or how we thought deliverance or transformation might look. Surrendering our every expectation on the “how or when,” God, in His Divine timing, will transform us—our hearts, lives, and attitudes; confidently trusting that He will never break His promise. He can’t. “God is not human, that he should lie, not a human being, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?” –Numbers 23:19.

We are called to understand, recognize, surrender to the fact that He alone is God; we are not. He alone is Sovereign; too often, we are little more than a fly-by-night people.

Many of us love a person, place, or thing, even God’s blessings, today, yet lose our desire for any more of them tomorrow. We witness this Truth unfold before our very eyes when reading Exodus 16. In it, we read about a group of Israelites suddenly freed from their oppressor’s exacting grip. And we read of God’s miraculous power flowing through one man He’d been preparing in the Midian wilderness—his name, Moses. “In the desert the whole community grumbled against Moses and Aaron. The Israelites said to them, “If only we had died by the Lord’s hand in Egypt! There we sat around pots of meat and ate all the food we wanted, but you have brought us out into this desert to starve this entire assembly to death” –Exodus 16:2-3.

Shortly after the dancing and rejoicing over freedom gained had stopped, the grumbling began in earnest. So did the suspicious glances and doubting. Seemingly gone from their memory that moment when Moses stood, lifting his shepherd’s staff high in obedience to God’s command. The water responded by standing erect, solid as any wall. Gone too, it seems, the memory of how they’d crossed between that wall of water from slavery into a land promised them by God on a bone-dry sea bottom no less! Talk about an oxymoron! Not so much as one person getting stuck or being left behind, nor did one cartwheel sink into what should have been little more than muck. The Israelites suffered no loss that day. Some scholars say more than half a million people stepped onto that dried-up seabed as slaves, yet every single one of them stepped out the other side free men—more, sons and daughters: a chosen people, God’s own.

And as incredible as all that is, I am not here today to exalt God’s ability to deliver a race of people from oppression—though He has and can, nor to tout that He is the God of miracles—though He is.

No, today I’m here to cast light on just how easy it was for the Israelites, is, for you and me, to forget not only who and Whose we are but also about our ignoring God’s great mercy. “Then Moses told Aaron, “Say to the entire Israelite community, ‘Come before the Lord, for he has heard your grumbling.'” While Aaron was speaking to the whole Israelite community, they looked toward the desert, and there was the glory of the Lord appearing in the cloud. The Lord said to Moses, “I have heard the grumbling of the Israelites. Tell them, ‘At twilight you will eat meat, and in the morning you will be filled with bread. Then you will know that I am the Lord your God” –Exodus 16:9-12.

Brothers, God’s Sovereign Hand is covering us daily—a Pillar of fire by night and a Cloud by day, still: protection and provision.

Somehow, the Israelites soon forgot how Moses had “suddenly” shown up, used by God to deliver them from Pharaoh’s deadly grip, and how every plague sent upon Egypt failed to reach them, their livestock, or households. Having left the bloodied door posts from a Passover past far behind them, they forgot God had been shedding innocent blood since the Garden that He might save His people. In their grumbling, they forgot God was still in their midst. That He still loved them, was guiding them, and showed Himself faithful, that He might save them—despite their failing Him. “The [presence of the] LORD was going before them by day in a pillar (column) of cloud to lead them along the way, and in a pillar of fire by night to give them light, so that they could travel by day and by night” –Exodus 13:21.

Yet the Israelites just couldn’t see it.

But now, before you go thinking, “how could they have missed God? He was right there with them, for Pete’s sake!” Remember, child of God. He lives within you, and you still miss Him daily, too.

The Israelites missed God because He wasn’t their focus, “lack of” was their focus. Self, that little g god, was their focus. All of us will miss God. His presence in our lives. His instruction, mercy, His move. We’ll miss the blessing obedience offers as we submit ourselves to those Godly shepherds, He has placed over us as long as we are focused on our flesh. As long as we live in “, but I thought it should,” look like, come

package as, even feel a certain way, instead of living as Jesus taught us, in complete submission to God. “In reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth” –Ephesians 4:22-24.

Beloved, Isaiah 55:8-9 reminds us that our thoughts, how we think, life ought to go, look, and feel are not God’s thoughts or ways—far from it! They’re not the way God, who created and sealed us in Himself, has planned for our lives to go. “And if you call on him as Father who judges impartially according to each one’s deeds, conduct yourselves with fear throughout the time of your exile, knowing that you were ransomed from the futile ways inherited from your forefathers, not with perishable things such as silver or gold, but with the precious blood of Christ, like that of a lamb without blemish or spot” –1 Peter 1:17-19.

I encourage you to surrender yourself afresh to God, Beloved. Leaving behind your every, “but I thought….”

And Friend, I encourage you to ask this All-Knowing God, whose ways are far above your own, into your life as Lord. Know this: God can and will deliver you from any situation, bondage, addiction, from the exacting grip of any lie spoken over you or any lie you’ve believed about yourself. Trust that He knows what’s best for you. I know this to be Truth—because He did it for me. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” –Jeremiah 29:11.

The Secret Place.

Kendra Santilli

When I was in nursing school I spent some time in the operating room observing some brilliant surgeons and nurses. I would say it was one of my favorite rotations. I remember one instance where I was sitting in on a knee replacement surgery. The patient had expressed that they were experiencing incredible knee pain and were more than ready to receive their new and improved hardware. They started counting to ten as they were lulled to sleep by anesthesia. Moments after the anesthesia kicked in, the physician got to work. To spare the graphic details, I’ll just say this: I never really understood just how much healing was actually happening in recovering patients. I realized that with surgery, the doctor sometimes has to cause more trauma, knowing full well that the patient is better off in the end, in order to get to the real problem. You see, the patient’s nerve endings, muscles, and skin all have to mend from the trauma they’ve just experienced. That day as I was standing in the OR watching this patient get torn apart to get stitched back together, I heard the quiet voice of God say to my spirit, “This is what I do.” I realized that, in some ways, God is like that physician.

I don’t know about you, but I have come to realize that many times when I feel burdened, it’s simply a symptom of some deeper issue; something that needs replacement or repairing within my heart. In the Bible, there are several passages where God is referred to as Jehovah-Rapha – the God who heals. I’m specifically reminded of Mark 2:17, where Jesus says “… Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.” I find it funny that Jesus makes this clear distinction among a self-righteous culture. A distinction that tells the well-versed religious leaders that they clearly already have it all together (and I say this facetiously). He is looking for those who are humble enough to realize that they need some help. Just as sick people need a doctor, sinners need a savior. I love that He chased “sickness” with “calling sinners”. This tells me that sin causes sickness of the heart, and that heart healing is just as important, if not more important than physical healing. These sicknesses of the soul can only be remediated by the One who made a way. Our heart issues are rooted in sin and God knows that! One thing I learned about surgery is that it takes time before one can apply weight to the area which was operated on. 

A few years back, I experienced the deepest loneliness that I could ever even imagine going through. I was surrounded by people but somehow felt completely invisible. I was in the midst of several new transitions in my life: new husband, a new state, new career, new church community. I didn’t realize it then, but it was a lot. In the midst of all of that, I struggled to make new friends. It felt like the more I tried, the lonelier I became. It was weird. I have never had a problem making friends, it’s just the charismatic extrovert in me! Through prayer, I realized that this loneliness was a result of the sin of idolatry. Let me explain. I realized that being accepted by people and loving people’s company had become of more importance to me than God’s approval and desiring His company. This loneliness was my symptom of the root issue: rejection. I wanted so badly to belong, while God was trying to teach me that, in Him, I already belonged! God knew this about me before I ever knew it about myself, and He had some work to do. Over the next couple of years, He brought me through a process of learning what it means to say, “God, you’re enough for me”. It was a good two years of just me and Him in the secret place. It’s in the secret place where He does His deepest work. The kind of work that makes its way from our hearts to our heads to our hands. This work has tangible outcomes and truly changes a person, and it’s a job only the Great Physician can do. When a person is recovering from surgery, there is a lot of pain involved with their nerves, bones, muscles, and skin. They have to go through therapies and rehab before being able to carry their full weight again. I promise you, though the surgery and healing are painful, the outcome is always worth it in the end. For me, this weight looked like having meaningful relationships. Through this season of solitude, I learned how to have relationships without rooting my identity in them. I also discovered a lot of pride and arrogance in my heart. That weight looked like not being able to be in leadership positions until I could be there without arrogance. For some people, they may have to go through the healing of rejection where the weight is that they can’t handle criticism. Over time, healing allows us to carry the weight without being so deeply impacted: we are made strong enough to overcome obstacles that may come our way.

I invite you to pray and ask God to show you what areas of your heart need healing. You may or may not even be aware of what it may be, but He is so kind as to expose the need and lead us through it. He wants to see us whole. He wants to see us thriving while we are here on earth. In moments of adversity, pray for the strength to lean into Him to carry you. To heal you. To restore you. To strengthen you. Adversity is not time to run away, it is time to press in. Will you trust God to do the work that He needs to do to bring you to your purpose? We cannot carry the weight of our purpose until He does His refining work. 

If you don’t know God as a healer, Jehovah-Rapha, the invitation is available to you. He sees your pain, He knows your symptoms, and He knows your “diagnosis”. But until you bring it to Him, you will not see the healing that He needs to do. Surrender to Jesus and invite Him into your space today and watch what He does.

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