As time moves on, it appears we have been moving further and further away from caring for others. We are inching ever closer toward little more than meeting our own needs. It is said, A culture that advocates for doing whatever makes one happy is in direct opposition to our purpose as believers. While society says, “do whatever makes you feel good”, the Word of God says, “The heart is more deceitful than anything else, and incurable– who can understand it?” – Jeremiah 17:9. The world says, put yourself first, while the Bible says, “Value others above yourselves, not looking to your interests but each of you to the interests of the others” – Phil 2:3-4.
While I believe that we must maintain a certain level of self-care, Western culture, in my opinion, has taken this to an extreme. Caring far more for “self” and far less for others.
This mindset has led some to believe that they will only be happy as they focus on little other than themselves. Yet God says the exact opposite is true. God’s Word declares that “it is better to give than to receive” – Acts 20:35. But some have become so obsessed with self-care that for them, giving in any capacity, be it financial, of their time, or energy, unless somehow directly benefitting them, is fast becoming unthinkable. Not for everyone—I hope certainty not for you, Christian! Because this idea is in direct contrast with what the Bible teaches us.
Amid one of the worst mental health crises in modern history, the Word of God holds the key to thriving as we learn, to love with an open heart.
While Jesus was bearing our sins on the cross, He hung, arms stretched wide, hands nailed open. And while that was His physical posture, it mimicked the posture of His heart as well. Jesus knew that the very people who had crucified Him—cried out for His death, were also the same ones who needed His forgiveness and love, and He did not withhold it. Jesus’ brave love allowed Him to maintain a posture of forgiveness. His heart responded not with disdain but forgiveness. “Father, forgive them, because they do not know what they are doing” – Luke 23:34. Jesus knew that you and I could very well have been standing there as He was crucified, yet He still chose to love us.
The very people who favored Jesus’ death sentence were the ones whom Jesus had walked among His entire life. They were the same people who sat under His teaching and followed Him throughout His three years of ministry. These were the people who crucified Jesus. And as He carried the sins of the world, past, present, and future, we might as well have been there too. Yet if Jesus could love in such a way, let’s not forget that we’re commanded to do the same.
How many times have we experienced betrayal at the hands of a friend? Or encountered coworkers who have proven to be untrustworthy? Or maybe it’s a family member who is manipulative or selfish?
It is easy to love those who are kind to us. But with difficult people, not so much. Often, we convince ourselves that they somehow deserve our cold shoulder. I’ll go back to our contrasts of societal advice versus Biblical Truth on this one. “If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also… You have heard that it was said, “Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.” But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get?” – Matthew 5:39b, 43-46a.
While society says to return the favor, give as good as you got, Jesus says choose humility, turn the other cheek. I do not take this to say let people walk all over you. I see it as a call to live in a posture of forgiveness and love. You can love someone without trusting them, forgive without trusting, and give without expecting a return on your investment.
It’s hard but possible to live that freely. In time, the Lord restores what was broken.
Sometimes, our love and generosity can be contingent upon what we’ll get in return. For instance, we will attend a wedding expecting that those getting married will one day attend our wedding. We give food in someone’s time of need with an expectation that they would do the very same for us in our hour of need. We donate to charity, walking away feeling satisfied knowing that we did something good.
But what happens when our expected outcome doesn’t happen?
Sadly, the answer is that many will hold a grudge, or they will determine in their heart to never again give to that one of their time or resources. Yet Jesus says, “turn the other cheek.” He challenges us to give of ourselves again and again. To love, again. Expecting nothing in return. He challenges us to love without holding so tightly to expectations. Instead, loving with an open hand, knowing that we made a difference in someone’s life, regardless of their response.
A couple of years ago, this revelation completely changed my life. I remember being so hurt by people I invested time, energy, and resources in. I gave and gave, expecting that if I ever needed their time, energy, or resources, they would have my back. But I learned that was not always so. It led to me feeling bitter, angry, hurt, and resentful. While praying about it, the Lord gave me this idea: Be a friend to people and be fully present today, knowing full well that that person may not be there tomorrow, and let them go. Praise God for the time you had with that person and that you had a genuine friendship with them for a time, and pray that they are blessed as they go on. Keep your eyes open for the new people I place in your life as you move forward and be present for them as well, knowing full well that tomorrow they also may not be there.
At that moment, God was teaching me a piece of what the love of Christ looks like. Even when I feel betrayed, I can pray that the seeds planted will grow, and, eventually, that person will be at peace. When I began to love these people with an open hand, nothing they could have said or done hurt me anymore. I began to bless them, and, as it says in Ephesians 4, I was able to forgive them as Christ forgives me, moving forward with peace and joy. What kind of bitterness could you be harboring in your heart today? What do you need freedom from? Who in your life needs your forgiveness so that you might live without the weight of that grudge? Who in your life needs a friend? Is it that one perhaps that you don’t consider worthy of your friendship? I encourage you to ask the Lord to show you what areas in your life need refreshing so that you, too, can love with an open hand.
If you don’t yet know Jesus in this way, I invite you to ask Him into your heart today. If you don’t know what to pray, you can start here. Thank you, Jesus, for coming to die for our sins. I know that I am a sinner and in need of your grace, so I ask you to forgive me today as I turn away from my sinful life. I ask that you help me to forgive those around me. I believe you are the Son of God, and I want to trust you as my Lord and my Savior. In Jesus’ name, amen. I believe that if you pray with a sincere heart, God will hear you, and your life will never be the same as you begin to walk by the Spirit and not by your understanding. I believe that today, Jesus can lead you in living life with an open hand and heart.
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