Stephanie Montilla

“…Jesus was troubled in spirit and testified, ‘Very truly I tell you, one of you is going to betray me” –John 13:21.

Within the human heart lives a propensity to sin, our fleshly nature at work in us, as it was in Judas. And apart from God’s saving grace—His Holy Spirit alive in us, preserving us from the bent of our fleshly nature, again, like Judas, we are powerless to overcome it. “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it” –Romans 7:15-20.

The Gospels inform us of Jesus calling each of His disciples. To some extent, they give us a snapshot of the apostles’ lives. Of whom they were before they began to follow Jesus. It also provides us with a glimpse of the settings in which he called them to follow him—except that is, for Judas Iscariot. Exactly how and why Judas was called to follow Jesus is not fully known. Some scholarly texts suggest Judas had been one of John the Baptist’s disciples. That he came to resent Jesus for not saving John from Herod’s executioner, and that this resentment took root in his heart and was a contributing factor in his subsequent betrayal of Jesus. However, we learn from Scripture that Jesus chose Judas to become His disciple—part of His inner circle. “When daylight came, He called His disciples to Him and chose twelve of them, whom He also designated as apostles: And Judas son of James; and Judas Iscariot, who became the betrayer” –Luke 6:13;16.

Judas is ignominiously known as being a traitor. For having betrayed Jesus for 30 pieces of silver—ultimately leading to Jesus’ arrest and His death on the cross. The Gospel tells it this way: “Then one of the Twelve – the one called Judas Iscariot – went to the chief priests and asked, ‘What are you willing to give me if I deliver him over to you?” So they counted out for him thirty pieces of silver. From then on Judas watched for an opportunity to hand him over” –Matthew 26: 14-16. It continues by saying, “When Judas, who had betrayed him, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was seized with remorse and returned the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders” –Matthew 27:3. And Scripture also informs us that Judas, realizing what he had done, was filled with remorse and committed suicide: “And he went away and hanged himself” (Matthew 27:5.

That led me to think about the condition of Judas’ heart? —and what of our own? After all, the Son of God had handpicked Judas to follow him. So, are we prone to fall away also? Betray the very God who called us?

Judas had witnessed the miracles Jesus had performed; he’d been in the boat when Jesus calmed the storm—Matthew 8:23-27. Judas was there when Jesus performed His first miracle, converting water into wine at the wedding in Cana —John 2:1-11. He’d witnessed Jesus feed the 5000 with five loaves and two fish—Matthew 14:15-21. And Judas was a witness to the miracles God performed. He’d also heard Jesus deliver the Sermon on the Mount –Matthew 5:1-48. He’d listened to Jesus’ parables and was present to hear Peter answer the question Jesus posed to each of His disciples—the very same question each one of us must answer for ourselves:” Who do you say that I am? Peter responded by saying, “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God”— Matthew 16:16. And, finally, Jesus had also given Judas power and authority to perform miracles: “Jesus called his twelve disciples to him and gave them authority to drive out impure spirits and to heal every disease and sickness” –Matthew 10:1. Judas had been given the privilege and honor of walking beside Jesus daily, knowing the Son of God personally. Yet, still, the devil-possessed Judas, causing him to betray Jesus. “After [Judas had taken] the piece of bread, Satan entered him. Then Jesus said to him, “What you are going to do, do quickly [without delay]” –John 13:27. How could this happen then? Hadn’t Jesus chosen Judas?

Again, all of this led me to contemplate the condition of Judas’ nefarious heart, asking myself then: Is there a little Judas in all of us?

Many of us profess to walk closely with Christ—just as Judas did. We share our witness—talking freely about what God has done in and through our lives—of the grace He’s poured into them. We talk about the miracles, signs, or wonders we’ve heard of or witnessed firsthand. Yet none of that exempts us from walking away from Jesus—from betraying Him, just like Judas did.

Seemingly, only Jesus was aware of Judas’ impending betrayal that fateful night—everyone else at the table appeared unsuspecting. “When evening came, Jesus was reclining at the table with the Twelve. And while they were eating, he said, ‘Truly I tell you, one of you will betray me. They were very sad and began to say to him one after the other, ‘Surely you don’t mean me, Lord?'” –Matthew 26:20-22. Not a single person, besides Jesus, pointed to Judas as being the traitor. And yet, long before this fateful night, there were signs of fissures in Judas’ heart—signs of his double-mindedness. John’s Gospel says this concerning this very issue: “Six days before the Passover, Jesus came to Bethany, where Lazarus lived, whom Jesus had raised from the dead. Here a dinner was given in Jesus’ honor. Martha served, while Lazarus was among those reclining at the table with him. Then Mary took about a pint of pure nard, an expensive perfume; she poured it on Jesus’ feet and wiped his feet with her hair. And the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume. But one of his disciples, Judas Iscariot, who was later to betray him, objected, “Why wasn’t this perfume sold and the money given to the poor? It was worth a year’s wages.” He did not say this because he cared about the poor but because he was a thief; as keeper of the money bag, he used to help himself to what was put into it” –John 12: 1-6.

Judas treasured money more than Jesus, and what he stole, he stole from God—not man. He knew that Jesus taught, “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” –Mathew 6:21. Yet, the pull to possess the things of this world, his sinful desire for money, and perhaps, past resentment became an overarching factor that contributed to Judas’ betraying Jesus. Knowing this then, it is essential for those who profess Jesus to check their hearts continually—asking God to examine them because simply acknowledging Jesus doesn’t equate to His truly being the Lord of your life.

To that end, you may find asking yourself the following questions helpful:

“What’ treasure(s)’ of this world have you allowed to dethrone the Son of God from your heart?”

“What daily habits are you entertaining that serve the lust of the flesh rather than foster a desire for the things of God’s and His kingdom?”

“And What are the “temporary pleasures of this world” that pull you away from God? Those things that trouble and grieve God’s heart?”

“Is it money? Is it lust? Is it a drug? Popularity? Possessions? Is it greed?”

If you profess to be a child of God, your heart’s greatest desire must be firmly rooted in pleasing and seeking after God and His Kingdom—and not being consumed by the “temporary gains” in this world.

After reading about some of the sin issues found in Judas’ heart, his greed, and double-mindedness, the possible root of bitterness that had taken root. His attachment to the things of this world. His being a liar and thief and his ability to betray Jesus, shouldn’t that awaken the resounding question in our hearts to be: “What can I learn from this?”

I know for me, I learned proximity to God is not an indicator that we abide in Christ, that our proximity to God does not exempt us from the enemy’s influences. I learned that those who refuse to fully yield their lives to Jesus Christ (their will, all that they are and have been given) could, sadly, be enticed away from serving Him, serving the lusts of their flesh instead. Judas walked with Jesus, was fed, and taught by Jesus, was prayed over by Jesus, healed individuals by the authority given him in Jesus, was a friend to Jesus. Judas spoke and acted like a disciple. Yet, his heart was far away from God. Judas knew all about religion, not about a relationship. “Many will say to Me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name drive out demons and perform many miracles? ‘Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you workers of lawlessness!’–Matthew 7:22-23. And this same religious spirit we witness in Judas is still alive today in those who, like him, are merely going through the motions in their walk with Jesus Christ. Those who perhaps attend church faithfully, follow all the rules, and offer their tithes—yet they lack a personal connection or genuine commitment to Jesus.

Judas was “in,” and yet he was still able to betray Jesus. Judas was “in,” yet the devil possessed him. The more religious we are, the more like Judas our hearts may become.

 And again, that forced me to look at myself and ask: “If Jesus wasn’t in my life, who might I be now?

I pray this same question drives you never to forget that forsaking God for the “temporary pleasures” of this world will always leave you feeling morally bankrupt.

That it reminds you that for all of Judas may have gained in this world, it never quenched his overwhelming feeling of remorse—that guilt and shame that drove him to hang himself. Neither will the things of this world ever assuage our guilt and shame. The enemy of our soul will make sure of that—just as he did with Judas. Satan always exacts a price far dearer than anyone thought they’d have to pay for the temporary pleasures he offers them. Ultimately, though, Scripture was fulfilled—and whatever the enemy had intended for evil, the Lord turned it around for His good purpose.

Judas’ desire was not for God, to advance His Kingdom – I pray that it is for you. I pray that the kingdom of God is your ultimate treasure and not the things of this world. I sincerely pray that you invite the Spirit of God to search your heart daily—revealing any wrong way within you. I pray that your profession that Jesus is Lord of your life matches your walk. I pray that if you’ve yet to ask God into your heart as Lord, you’ll do it today. I pray that you serve God as your Master. May the motives of your heart continuously be to glorify God. I pray that you’re a Peter, and not a Judas—because Peter died for the One he loved, while Judas followed Jesus yet, in the end, chose Satan over our Savior! “No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money” (Matthew 6: 24).